Letter to Elizabeth, Christopher and Melissa after the death of Frank Hartnett

Vancouver, BC

5 January 2013

Dear Elizabeth, Christopher and Melissa,

Yesterday, 4 January 2013, your paternal grandfather — Frank Hartnett, or Poppa to you — died. Unfortunately (unless your parents had a guilt-induced change of heart as he lay on his deathbed), you last saw him in 2006. Melissa, you probably never knew him; you were too young. Elizabeth and Christopher ... well ... half or more of your lifetimes have passed without him in your lives, a very sad state of affairs for both you and Poppa.

I, too, had not seen my father for several years — since 2007. However, unlike you, Dad and I were adults, and the state of our relationship was within our control. But this letter (the only way that I can attempt to communicate with you that is not under the influence of your controlling parents) is not about my relationship with my father; it's about your relationship (or lack thereof) with your poppa (and your nanna), and how you were denied that relationship with him by your conniving and selfish parents — Bruce and carolyn — and your maternal grandmother, rosa hinze.

No doubt you have been told that the members of your father's side of your family are bad people, with the exception of the one who compromised his flimsy principles to suck up to your mother. However, even your uncle Colin is one disagreement (or independent thought) away from being cut off from you too (as your mother and father did to Poppa, Nanna and me) if he doesn't toe the line. Despite my differences with Dad, I believe that he was — and would have continued to have been — a wonderful grandfather to you. The same goes for your nanna.

I hope you never have to know the pain that Poppa — and your nanna too, for that matter — had to endure after being cut off from you by your parents through no fault, action or inaction of his own. Poppa loved and missed you very much; Nanna loves and misses you very much too, but your parents — who are supposed to love, care for, nurture and set a good example of family for you — have used the three of you as pawns to hurt other people in your family. (Your parents do not seem to believe, as most people do, that it is immoral to use children as weapons of control.)

But here's the good news for you, and the bad news for your parents: You're all approaching an age where you can think for yourselves, ask questions, act independently and seek a more balanced view to counter whatever nonsense you have been spoon-fed for years now about the rest of your family. I hope that one day (before it's too late) you'll have the courage to learn more; you already know how to contact your nanna.

Love from,

Uncle Craig.

Uncle Craig